Thank goodness I woke up at 5:30 am to get in my gym workout. It is a relief to know I got that out of the way because I didn't come home until 9 am.Let's see, where do I begin? I'd say the long and the short of it is this, but there's a long version floating around that only a couple of people have seen. So you, dear reader, get the short of it.
Let me start out by saying I am not easily impressed. I don't care if you drive a fancy car or wear fancy clothes or carry an expensive purse. (Shoes? That's another story. I can drool for days over shoes.) But when it comes to people, I am impressed with intelligent wit, and sometimes fart jokes.
So there's this funny guy I've been wanting to get to know better just because I like to have a good supply of funny people in my life. And you know, who knows what else. And last night, I got the chance to see if he could impress me.
7:30 pm: First we met up at Deep Eddy Cabaret for some pool and beer. The idea was to shoot pool and the loser buys beer, but somehow, I won two out of three games and only bought one beer. Maybe it was my lucky green shirt I love so much.
10 pm: Next stop was Molotov Lounge. This bar used to be my favorite bar until it got all douchey. I only tolerate it now after a few drinks. OK, in my mind I own that place. In reality, the Austin Bachelor owns it and I. SAW. HIM. THERE. So in awe of that I just had to text Amy S. about it since two years ago we went on a pub crawl of the bachelor's array of bars, a pub crawl story that now lives in infamy of our inside jokes. It was also that night two years ago that I vowed to never drink again. Where does the time go? I just simply can't neglect a harmless Jagerbomb. Just sitting there looking all cute. And his friends, a Bud Light and a Lemon Drop shot.
Now, where was I?
12 am: We heard that Rain had karaoke night, so me, the funny guy and like 5 other people went over to Rain. I signed up to sing "Fancy" by Reba McEntire and he signed up to sing "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond. I think we both nailed our performances. That was my opinion after, what, 10 drinks. It was at this point I decided I was not going to get up the next day to run 9 miles.
1:15 am: On to The Aquarium, where I met and made more acquaintances of the night. I think this was like the third time of the night we heard "Don't Stop Believin'" - not only is the one song EVERYONE will sing in a bar, but one day if I ever run for President, that will be my campaign song. I just want to hear my crowd sing it. And then my friend Anne can come out sliding on her knees doing a sweet air guitar.
I was just having a great time and having fun hanging out with funny man. I had no idea what the night had in store honestly and I was just totally relaxed about it and not thinking too much about it. I was dancing and probably looked like a complete idiot. When the bar closed, we followed his friend and a couple of girls around the corner to the guy's house and I got in his friend's truck and he moved it somewhere - I think. His friend had a garden knome in his truck and that is when I took that picture of me.
2:35 am: It was past closing time, so funny guy hailed a cab. The issue in the backseat was do I go pick up my car and go home or go to his place? I decided to pick up my car and drive him home. For one thing, I didn't want to leave my car in a dark parking lot with my work laptop in the backseat and I also thought I could use some water before I make the 10-minute drive to my house.
So we go to his apartment and open the door and his little dog, who is like a miniature schnauzer or something had an accident on the floor. So he cleaned it up before I came in and he was kind of upset with his doggy, but I was like, slurring, "That is totally OK." I might have even given the thumbs up. Doggy knew she was in trouble so she kept trying to hide behind my legs. You know how you meet other dogs and you're like "that dog is nothing to my dog" and it's like you can't even bear to pet them or you think they're gross? Well, this doggy is not like that. She's such a cuddler and so soft and sweet. I sat down on one end of the couch and she pretty much laid next to me the whole time. "She vouches," I am told.
For the next 4 hours, we stayed up and talked and drank, yet, more beer and listened to music, and of course me, blowing his mind with my extensive knowledge of 70s music. Then I passed out in my clothes at around 7 am because I was barely hanging on by like one coherent thread. I'm sure you want me to fill in blanks, but it ain't gonna happen on this blog entry.
At about 8:30, I got a text from work, and that woke me up. So I got up and decided to go home. I whispered in his ear that I was leaving and then did the walk of shame to my car. Of course, not that I had anything to feel shameful about. I slept in my clothes, so I looked like I was going to work, for all practical purposes. It was SOOOO cold. F-ing cold front in September. Probably not to you, but to me, it was cold in the 50s in September in TEXAS!
So I went home and went back to sleep. At about 10:30am he texted me this: Dammit. And some texting ensued for the rest of the day. I was getting the business about being a bad influence. Who, me?
The verdict? Impressive.
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