Mondays. Always the 5:30 am Mondays with the working out and the trainer. Oy vey. This morning was early and I was sore, but I had a fulfilling calorie-burning workout. And I got to tell my trainer Regan all about my kiss list!Many years ago – and I’m talking at least 20 years – I read in Seventeen magazine that a woman busses about 80 guys before she finds “the one.” Of course, that is when I promptly went to the dictionary and learned that a bus is a kiss. Growing up in sheltered Arkansas, Seventeen was my Bible, so I started on my list. And would you believe I have kept it up? For those who know me, it shouldn’t be a shocker. In fact, most would expect me to have charted them out in a spreadsheet. And I can now because I have uncovered the list!
I had been wondering what number I am up to now. Surely I’ve got to be getting close to “the one.” I knew I’d added some to my list since I’d last seen the documented manifestation of all my bussing 5 years ago, and I was eager to add them up. Since I spent 8 years with one guy, I had some catching up to do after my divorce. That’s when the list really started growing. But there was a lot of kissing before my ex; he's #30. I think I got mono from #18, who at some point in the last year has friended me on Facebook.
Seeing the list made me consider what really counts as a kiss? Was my first kiss when I was 10 years old and Jason Brown wanted to play kiss chase on the playground and I said no, but he ran after me anyway and kissed me on the lips? I was mortified! Ironically, I’ve had some of those mortifying random, unsolicited kisses as an adult so I wouldn’t have had much advice for 10-year-old me. After the playground attack, I immediately ran to the bathroom and splashed water on my mouth and looked in the mirror and said out loud that Jason Brown had just kissed me! And then I thought for a moment… Jason Brown had just kissed me. I kind of liked it. And I knew that he did it because I told him no. Ring a bell, ladies? Kiss chasing the "hard to get girl" on the playground is where it all began. And it continues, if you consider the playground is now a bar. I can’t help but see the parallels between my current situation and how my dating life started with playing games (or avoiding them) on a playground!
When I was cleaning out the garage, it was partly because I decided to dig up that list. I thought I knew where I’d stored it. I have a big plastic storage box in my garage that contains just about every piece of written work I created before computers plus more than a dozen journals. I have journals falling out of my bookshelves and drawers inside my house. As I began thumbing through the box I wondered if anyone might think the person who lives here is a writer.
I had been wondering what number I am up to now. Surely I’ve got to be getting close to “the one.” I knew I’d added some to my list since I’d last seen the documented manifestation of all my bussing 5 years ago, and I was eager to add them up. Since I spent 8 years with one guy, I had some catching up to do after my divorce. That’s when the list really started growing. But there was a lot of kissing before my ex; he's #30. I think I got mono from #18, who at some point in the last year has friended me on Facebook.
Seeing the list made me consider what really counts as a kiss? Was my first kiss when I was 10 years old and Jason Brown wanted to play kiss chase on the playground and I said no, but he ran after me anyway and kissed me on the lips? I was mortified! Ironically, I’ve had some of those mortifying random, unsolicited kisses as an adult so I wouldn’t have had much advice for 10-year-old me. After the playground attack, I immediately ran to the bathroom and splashed water on my mouth and looked in the mirror and said out loud that Jason Brown had just kissed me! And then I thought for a moment… Jason Brown had just kissed me. I kind of liked it. And I knew that he did it because I told him no. Ring a bell, ladies? Kiss chasing the "hard to get girl" on the playground is where it all began. And it continues, if you consider the playground is now a bar. I can’t help but see the parallels between my current situation and how my dating life started with playing games (or avoiding them) on a playground!
When I was cleaning out the garage, it was partly because I decided to dig up that list. I thought I knew where I’d stored it. I have a big plastic storage box in my garage that contains just about every piece of written work I created before computers plus more than a dozen journals. I have journals falling out of my bookshelves and drawers inside my house. As I began thumbing through the box I wondered if anyone might think the person who lives here is a writer.
I looked through the box and flipped through loose and bound pages and thought of kisses from men I’ve had all over the US and Europe. I had notebooks and poetry. Man, I used to completely dork out on some poetry back in the day. And the crushes. Scribbled all over pages and notebooks were I love Chad. I love Tommy. I love Drew. I love Jeremy. I love Gabe. I love Russell. It's embarrassing. I’ve never told anyone this: In the 7th grade, I wrote down all the cute boys’ names on little pieces of paper. At night, I’d draw one out of a box and whoever I picked, I’d fall asleep daydreaming about them. Things like what I might say to them in class. What if he put a note in my locker? What would I wear to a party at his house? I had a vivid imagination. Who am I kidding – I still have one.
And there it was. The list. In a box I'd ignored for 4 and a half years since I moved to Austin. The last guy on there was Trevor. He was a good kisser. OMG - if you're reading this and you remember Trevor, just let that tall drink of water sink in and blow your mind again. Probably the hottest, sexiest guy I've ever dated. I'm not sure I want to divulge how many men came after Trevor on this blog since it's public and my mom and my aunt read this thing daily. But there are a couple of boyfriends, a couple of international guys, and a couple of random guys. At least.
Kissing is harmless. I do value it and I am honestly not pimping out my lips to whoever will kiss them, but I go on a lot of dates and if a guy even so much as pecks me on my closed-mouth lips (cheeks do not count) then that is a bonafide kiss. But I am still on the hunt for #80. Seventeen did, after all, say "about 80." I hope 80 is a good kisser. If not, I might have to go to 81 or 90 for that matter. I am not opposed to seeking perfection in kissing.
And there it was. The list. In a box I'd ignored for 4 and a half years since I moved to Austin. The last guy on there was Trevor. He was a good kisser. OMG - if you're reading this and you remember Trevor, just let that tall drink of water sink in and blow your mind again. Probably the hottest, sexiest guy I've ever dated. I'm not sure I want to divulge how many men came after Trevor on this blog since it's public and my mom and my aunt read this thing daily. But there are a couple of boyfriends, a couple of international guys, and a couple of random guys. At least.
Kissing is harmless. I do value it and I am honestly not pimping out my lips to whoever will kiss them, but I go on a lot of dates and if a guy even so much as pecks me on my closed-mouth lips (cheeks do not count) then that is a bonafide kiss. But I am still on the hunt for #80. Seventeen did, after all, say "about 80." I hope 80 is a good kisser. If not, I might have to go to 81 or 90 for that matter. I am not opposed to seeking perfection in kissing.
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