Day 221 = Running + This Blog

I am so behind on writing this blog! But does anyone give a shit other than me and my biggest fan, Aunt Linda? Yeah, I'm giving you props today! Thank you for all of your encouragement and your emails.

Kara and I departed on separate ways this morning in Dallas, and I drove home in a rain storm, which the best thing out of that was the realization of "hey, I really DO need new tires." You can't always believe what the State of Texas car inspection people tell you. So there is another grand I have to kiss goodbye. I actually stopped at a combination Pizza Hut/Taco Bell for a last round of junk food. But I felt like crap tonight and went for a run after a 2-hour nap. Can I just say that deer are really freaky at night?

I have a new mantra: Let go and get God. I even wrote it on my bathroom mirror with a dry-erase marker. Kara and I had a lot of catching up to do since the mere two months since I'd seen her. We don't really run out of things to talk about and she makes me laugh. I've known her for 27 years (below are some of the early years), and she is one of few friends who can say anything to me. I appreciate her honesty. While she was visiting, she told me something that was, like, such an eye-opener to me and I was all, thank you for telling me this. You are so right and I have to remember it! So thank you, Kara. Meer.

Annnnd, I will just end with that.

Day 220 = Resistance Bands + U2

One thing I just still cannot believe is that I waited 35 years to see U2 in concert. Tonight the foursome played Dallas in the new Dallas Cowboys Stadium, which is worth the visit on its own. But seriously, I am in love with Bono again. In love with all the U2 songs that I know remarkably well. I wanted to hear my favorite, "New Year's Day," but the fact that MUSE opened for U2 made up for that. And, my brother and his girlfriend drove in from Little Rock to see the concert, too. (that's us right there)

When U2 was singing "Walk On," Bono brought someone on stage, and it turns out he is the husband of one of mine and Kara's friends we've known since junior high school. Small world.

Yeah, this blog entry is kind of lame if you weren't there. BUT I WAS THERE! I SAW U2!

Tonight was the first night in 220 days that I almost forgot to work out. No matter how drunk, tired or burned out I am, I have always worked out. Even if it means doing crunches in my floor before I go to bed. As I was crawling into my hotel bed tonight about to chow down on the chips and cherry chipotle salsa that Kara and I carted with us in my polka-dot ice chest, I saw the resistance band and got to workin' out.

Day 219 = Resistance Bands + Cap City Open Mike

I spent all day Sunday recovering, napping, eating junk food and drinking. Yes, drinking again. I think my stunt liver has taken over. Due to the lethargy, I nixed my run and hit the resistance bands instead. In between all this, I worked on some jokes. I came up with my set yesterday during my run, and I polished it today. Kara let me bounce some jokes off her, and she timed me. Because tonight, you see, I'm getting back on stage after an 18-month hiatus to do some stand-up comedy.

And I did. Because I told Kara and posted it as my Facebook status that I would do this. And that made it all official. But it was about time to reunite myself with other comics because I like to surround myself with funny and interesting people. Also because it's a creative outlet that will create new experiences that I wouldn't get from laying on the couch and watching Desperate Housewives.

I was SECOND in the lineup, thanks to the lottery system. Not my favorite spot, but I was glad to get it over with. A few regulars are sprinkled in throughout, so I was technically 3rd or 4th. I recorded my entire set, which touched on Jerry Springer, Excel, my 8-speed shower head and my mom. I emailed her and a few other people the MP3 so they could feel like they were there. The thing about stand-up is you get laughs at jokes that you just don't expect. I got some laughs and some props, and even though the MC said he'd never seen me perform, some guy in the back yelled out, "Heather's funny!" as I walked on stage. The people at open mike in Austin are just a lot cooler than the ones were in Houston.

Afterwards, Kara and I joined some of the other comics at the Common Interest, which is a north Austin karaoke bar. Guess what I sang?

Day 218 = Running + Mary's Wedding

Remember that shower I threw with my friend Shelli a few weeks ago for our friend Mary? Well, this party group was at the wedding tonight at Laguna Gloria, and pretty much this is where we stayed all night. It was close to the very generous and very open bar and very far away from the chaos and all the people we do not know. Mary was a beautiful bride. I'm sure her photographer took lots of photos. Instead, Shelli's fiance took this one of all of us dressed like we were going to a funeral. That's all I got. "Yo, we wuz up at da weddin" is the title of this photo.

We were in rare form tonight. Rare. And might I add that laughing with friends is just the best thing ever sometimes.

After I had some random conversation with a couple about why they want to get Obama's staff out of the White House, I danced a little with Drew, a friend of Mary and Shelli's, and he invited me to go downtown with him, but I am trying to be more of a lady these days so I opted out of going downtown with a practical stranger. Besides, you can't see them in this photo but I was wearing red patent stillettos and my feet were killing me. So Drew was a gentleman and gave me a ride home. And by gentleman, I mean both lists are still in a holding pattern. And if you know which lists I'm talking about, you are probably saying, "Why?? He was right there!"

I came home and Kara was still awake and overjoyed that pizza was also delivered soon after my arrival. It was like the planets aligned because this never happens. I mean beer and pizza were in my house. Beer. Pizza. My house. AT THE SAME TIME!!!! In case you're wondering how the night ended, I tried to "take a nap" on the cold saltillo tile in my pink Snuggie. "Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol." (Did you know that Academy Award winner Jamie Foxx sings that song??? Yeah, he paid for studio time for that. And for someone to mix it. And he has an Oscar.)

I did get a 3-mile run in this afternoon. Just thought I'd mention it since this blog -- which I'm convinced no one is reading other than my Mom, Aunt Linda, Amy S., Debbie and my personal trainer, and I am, for some reason documenting this stuff for my own posterity -- is about my daily workouts. Like I'm trying to prove some point.

Day 217 = Gym + Cougars

More planning. Another morning gym workout. I knew tonight was going to be a late night, so I planned my workout for early in the day. I went to see a comedy show with a few friends and then the show's after party. You know you have good friends when they pull you off one dance floor right before you start to become a complete fool and pull you onto another dance floor. I'm sure I accomplished looking like a fool at both locations. I was just letting loose and having fun. If there's a dance floor and vodka nearby, I am not far away.

I blame it on my new "Magic Jeans," which were practically falling off my hips. They looked great with those new red wedge sandals I bought on Wednesday. I think I lost three pounds dancing. I ended up with a dollar bill tip that fell out of my bra later when I was at home. I remember saying to Craig when he gave it to me, "you'll never see this again." And then there was some guy named Biff. I know his name was Biff because we went 5 rounds of me yelling over the music, "your name is really Biff?" His reply: "yes, it's Biff." Me: "really? it's Biff?"

Vodka.

My interaction with men tonight has left me once again bewildered. I was completely oblivious to some of what was going on around me while I was dancing, but my friends told me they'd had some downright rude things said to them. Where do men get off saying this stuff to women? To women they do not even know? Where are their manners? For instance, here's a conversation I got the play-by-play on later.

Friend 1: "Nice reference to cougars tonight." [sarcastically]

Comedy Guy: "I was hoping there'd be a table of cougars tonight and I looked up and the gods smiled and there you were."

Friend 2: "But technically aren't you 40? So we're not technically cougars to you."

Comedy Guy: ...something about how my friends should look him up on Facebook

Friend 1: "You can look me up under cougar."

Comedy Guy: ...turns his back on Friend 1 and says to Friend 2: "You're someone worth looking up and who I could see myself with later tonight."

Yeah. Really.

Of course, later in the night I ran into Comedy Guy, who I'd met once before through a mutual friend, and I told him I wasn't a cougar. I think he said, oh yeah, then show me your boobs. I flashed him the top part of my boob that is also visible when I'm wearing a swimsuit or a low cut shirt. Meanwhile, when it comes to the guy I do like, it feels like blind eye/deaf ear with him. I'm about to give up on you, just so you know.

Vodka.

Day 216 = Running + Lustre Pearl

Planning is key in any goal one might have to accomplish. My goal is still adding days to my workouts, and I'm thrilled I've racked up 216 days so far. My trainer continues to "encourage" (and guilt) me to not drink. I dragged my butt out of bed this morning and ran 4.5 miles because I knew there was a happy hour on the horizon with Amy and Kara.

A new place for me - Lustre Pearl. It's this old house off Red River downtown and it's completely laid back and my style. Colorful plastic deck chairs. Good lighting. Great music. Strong drinks. A taco truck parked outside.

I wore my new brown boots with a flirty blue patterned dress and enjoyed several Crown and diet Cokes and a black bean and avocado taco with queso fresco.

Day 215 = Gym + Boots

Kara is still visiting so I left her asleep in her guest room this morning when I went to the gym. But later I took her to the outlet mall in Round Rock to shop, so I could also join her after work.

I've had a pair of black boots for about 7 years. Yep. Seven years. I've had them updated and renewed every season because I love them so much and they are just made well and I get so many compliments on them. But I figured this year it's time to get new boots. I bought three pairs of boots (2 black and 1 brown) plus a pair of black platform pumps and a pair of red patent croc flats and a pair of red wedge sandals. I am in shoe heaven and I have no idea where I'm going to put them all. But I will figure it out. I will make room for you sweet boots.